January 2012
1 post
Colin!: i want to skip forward to 2100 where you are considered "conservative" if you don't understand otherkin
December 2011
6 posts
Colin: i wonder if there's some 12 year old kid who prays to jesus every night and tells him funny jokes
Colin Explains Sex
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: I was talking to Jenn once about sex and she was telling me theres like
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: noises
Colin: what
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: like
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: sounds
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: that happen
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: ?
Caitlin: oh my god
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: not moaning like when dongers and vages interact
Colin: ok i guess
Colin: drop a wet sponge on tile
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: that she her sister told her and she told me
Colin: then keep doing it for an hour
Caitlin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Caitlin: perfect
Colin: not totally splashy
Colin: but a wet thud
November 2011
4 posts
“if construction workers put as much effort into their work as nic cage does, we...”
– Colin dropping truth bombs (via arsenicandoldspice)
Solutions with Colin
Caitlin: oh my god he just stared at me because we have a paper due about intimacy
Caitlin: and went "but what if i'm single"
Stephen Fagwolf Corston: HAHAHA
Caitlin: i'm going to kill myself
Caitlin: i can't make this up
Colin: one day when you are near him drop your bag and have a naruto headband out of it. This is very risky however, it will either drive him away forever or it will bind his soul to yours in nightmarish ways.
Lightening the mood
Colin: basically i found a flash drive and it belonged to a guy down the hall and it had his life story about having to flee the congo as a child due to civil war
Colin: and i felt bad so i gave it back
Colin: by slipping it under his door
Colin: but not before putting SimCity music on it
October 2011
2 posts
[10/21/11 11:52:06 PM] Colin: are you ever so...
September 2011
3 posts
Colin: yesterday i stole a textbook because it was sitting in an unlocked locker
Caitlin: colin.....
Caitlin: ):<
Colin: it was a book about crime
Colin: that's really the only reason i took it
Colin: no i'm just pulling your dragons
Caitlin: nobody colinsez that he's just looking for attention
2 tags
Pottermore
Colin: i want to get into Huxtable
August 2011
10 posts
[8:23:33 PM] Colin: i would rather kill all people...
“guys tonight a girl was flirting with me she was visiting her friend who was...”
– colin flirts
“when are he going to marry that poor poor girl so we can hear him talk bout how...”
– Colin
just got word from my boss for my school job
buttsbutts:
wh-
oh
colin shares his schedule
i just tried to pop a zit on my chest but it was...
July 2011
5 posts
buttsbutts:
oh and she’ll be getting a nice surprise when she sees my profile……
Colin: you know when you have a slow computer and you type something and then you wait and it appears as if by a ghost typing it
STOIC HERON: yes
Colin: i love that
STOIC HERON: oh
Jillian: yeah it's the best
Rachel: what... no that's the worst
Colin: its like a ghost though
STOIC HERON: THE SLOWEST GHOST
Colin: you can pretend there is a ghost typing in "what happens when a boy takes birth control for girls"
My Brando Colby fanfiction
buttsbutts:
I knew Brando always carried a pistol on him, now I knew why. In my panic, I grabbed Pots and Pans in a desperate effort to defend myself. I heard a gunshot, but I seemed unharmed. The noise was deafeningly close, he could only be right behind me. Was it a warning shot? Wouldn’t he shoot me the first chance he got? I turned around to face to kitchen entrance, and there he was, his...
Today i worked 15 hours and then i lost my mind in...
buttsbutts:
This is from a conversation i just copy pasted it
oh my god
there was this girl
there was this girl who was flirting with me so hard
like you have no idea
she stared me down for a good 20 minutes
and then came back and did it again
and again
and again
and again
and again
and again
i am not exaggerating
she came to our stand 7 fucking times over 9 hours
and kept looking at me and...
June 2011
9 posts
Colin: fuvc
Ryan Gaudet: oh?
Colin: uit's latin you asshole
Ryan Gaudet: and what's it latin for
Colin: fuck
Colin: oh my god how awkward must it be for some gay couples now
if one guy has commitment issues
it's like your mom bringing up that the soccer team is starting up for the season
but you really don't want to do it again
but how do you tell her
No how about we actually not get married okay
no no i know but i don't think the timing
really do we have to start this again
you make it so awkward for me
It is NOT my fault, we jsut don't always fit
oh god please don't take it like that
please come on we don't have to do this every time
no come back ugh ugh ugh
paul get over here now, we need to have this discussion
NO you will stay at the apartment tonight
you've had enough already Paul
I honestly... Paul! I honestly think we should wait for both our sakes
I don't feel ready for that kind of commitment
I know you're ready, you've been telling me for years
Just because we CAN doesn't mean we should
What?
No of course I love you.
Paul please don't do this.
I want you here tonight
Plea- Paul please don't
No you know what? I try to talk it out! I try so hard to keep this together
If you want to go out and get wasted, be my guest
I'll be right here crying myself to sleep
Again Paul.
I do this more often now than when I was in high school.
Naturally.
I don't want that, no.
Just get out please, you're upsetting me.
God you make this so difficult for us Paul
and
that's what would happen
michelle obama talking about sandwiches on disney...
buttsbutts:
these pants were nice while they lasted
[9:26:57 PM] Colin: what if your whole life was a...
Ryan Gaudet: god, george michael getting Quicken for his birthday
Cameron: is that a fast chicken because nothing else makes sense
Jennifer: ...
Cameron: nope it's tax stuff or something
Jennifer: i'm baking cookies
Colin: i'm breaking hookies
Colin: which is slang for hookers
Colin: and breaking means murdering
Ryan Gaudet: i was just slapping my toes onto the bottom of my foot because it made a funny fapfapfapfapfapfap noise
Ryan Gaudet: i just realized that this is maybe not a good idea
Jillian: no it's the best idea
Ryan Gaudet: i think the walls are too thin.
Jillian: i think
Jillian: your pants
Jillian: are too thin
Ryan Gaudet: no
Colin: not thin enough
Ryan Gaudet: they effectively show my thunder
Colin: I want to be able to rip them off
Cameron: are bon iver and bon jovi different people
dav: not so much on the last song
Ryan Gaudet: no, colin
Ryan Gaudet: just a name change
Cameron: oh wow really
Ryan Gaudet: yeah
Cameron: weird
May 2011
3 posts
[10:58:24 PM] Colin: if i had the choice ryan i...
April 2011
3 posts
1 tag
Colin: oh my god i've been listening to that dum...
I...
Cameron: is it weird to think "heterosexuality is gorss" all of a sudden
Cameron: like "ew that person is OPPOSITE"
Rachel: colin... what
Rachel: you are in a heterosexual relationship though
Cameron: i know but like
Cameron: "why would you resort to someone who is totally opposite of you"
Rachel: would you rather be w/ someone who also has a dick
Cameron: stick with the the same stuff guys
“ok you know how in legend if you have a chicken egg and it is incubated by a...”
– Colin
March 2011
4 posts
“Imagine you are in a room with 12 corpses of naked men, and one of them has a...”
– Colin
“I applied a fake tattoo to myself with a damp pair of boxers yesterday.”
– Colin
Colin: that would be one heck of a ride with ryan
Colin: his butt would hurt so much over 4594375 miles
[9:03:02 PM] Colin: i just got $20 because a guy...